Home Ownership Lesson #5

There will be mysteries.

I remember the day that I looked at my house for the first time. It was house number three for the day.

The house immediately before it was the same floor plan but a corner lot that exposed the entire backyard to everyone who drove by the house. I was not raised in a subdivision. My parents quite literally carved a house seat out of the side of a mountain in order to build my childhood home. Our road had one other house on it and it belongs to B & Daddy Pete. My Daddy and Daddy Pete lived across the road (a different road) from each other their entire childhoods until Daddy Pete went into the Navy and then Daddy went to college. But, soon after the Navy and college they resumed their normal locations. Across the road. Needless to say, I am not used to having neighbors much less having a backyard that total strangers (there are no strangers in the holler at home – we know everyone) can observe. So I passed on that house.

My house has a large backyard with mature trees and no neighbors to the rear – only two neighbors!  Then there is the screened in porch where I can sit and listen to the rain and look at the trees. I did not need much more encouragement. Although, the inside of the house was nice – fireplace, tile, hardwood, and surround sound. I was intrigued by the surround sound. The crafty sellers were wise enough to have the surround sound playing during the showing. And it was on NPR – that helped – I do enjoy some public radio. Every room has speakers, including the screened in porch. Very nice, especially since my laptop works overtime playing music all the time.

So, I make the deal, sign the papers, erect the fence, move in and set up housekeeping. During all this I assumed that I would find the surround sound controls. Seems reasonable that the controls would be obvious. I was wrong. To date, I have no idea exactly how to make sound come out of the surround sound speakers. There are little knobs in every room and tastefully recessed speakers but no obvious outlet, control panel, or plug-in for the system. After weeks of looking I thought I found it. There is a Honeywell panel in the closet. That must be it. When Donte from Comcast came to fire up the internet I asked him and he said, oh, no this is not for surround sound this is where al the telecommunications go. Wrong again.

I began to get desperate. I emailed my realtor.

My parents came for a visit after I moved in (they very kindly brought a bed from my house in Virginia and returned The Queen to her new kingdom). Daddy was bored, I don’t have cable, and needed a project so I suggested he find the surround sound. At this point I am somewhat embarrassed because this should not be this hard, right? Dad inspects. He notices an outlet near the cable hookup in the living room. The outlet has four wires sticking out – green, white, black, and red. Of course, I have no clue what these do and have avoided touching them. Always the 7th grade teacher (he did do that for 25 years), Dad says what do those look like? Oh, well, I guess they kind of look like the kind of wires you hook to speakers and the wires are the same colors as those that go into the back of the TV to connect video and audio from the DVD player. Bingo.

So, we think we have found them but neither of us have any idea how to actually connect a stereo or amplifier to the wires.

My realtor gets back to me with the phone number of the seller. This is so interesting/mysterious that she wants to know what I find out.

I have not gotten around to making that call. I wonder why they would bother taking my call. We’ll see. If they don’t help me (at least tell me where to go to get some geek to help me make this work) I guess I will hang Christmas ornaments from the wires and control knobs and call the speakers fancy decorations.

I never enjoyed mysteries.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Home Ownership Lesson #5

  1. You are hilarious. I’ll ask the couch commando for input. But,if it was me, I’d call a companythat installs home theater/audio equipment and have them come in for a free estimate and then schmoooooze them for info. Heck, call 2 and then hire one. The system will be worth it. the seller can probaly tell you who installed the system originally and that would help.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s