You will need to accept and/or ask for help.
I have been doing things myself for a long time. Even though I am the same baby that refused to walk because I had people for that – why walk when everyone carries me? I somehow went from happily depending on the arms of others for transportation to insisting on moving myself from my college apartment to downtown Richmond, Virginia when it was close to being the murder capital of the world. Mommy later complained that “I could have asked for help.” Honestly, it never occurred to me. I could do it myself.
Boyfriend #2 used to say that I am “independent to fault” because I wasn’t jealous and regularly told him that I needed a couple of days to myself. I thought he was over-reacting. Sometimes I prefer my own company, what’s the problem with that? I enjoy eating, going to the movies, shopping, and traveling alone from time to time. I have been told by people that those preferences are “weird,” “pathetic,” and “brave.” I just thought I was being normal? Sometimes a book, a movie, or NPR is all I need.
Not much has changed. I have rented apartments, traveled abroad, driven through the desert, chilled in Las Vegas, New York, and Chicago, and bought two cars myself. Most recently I bought a house by myself with some interest rate advice from a mentor and a chat with a few folks about realtors. Why not think that I can move into the new digs by myself? I thought I will hire movers to transport the furniture – even though the Family of Six offered to move me. Great plan? Two nights of pain, one doctor’s visit, two prescriptions, a sick day, and heating pad later – I realized this was not a great plan.
It started when I decided that I would move two night stands from Virginia to FW myself. Solid wood night stands with full drawers – no need to unpack them . . . waste of time. I unloaded these myself. The next day I woke up with a sore back. No big deal, right? I did some stretches and all was well. Next morning I had to keep my arbitrary schedule of moving things from my apartment to the new place (can you say OCD?) and was carrying a giant plastic container filled with clothes down the stairs. When I turned the corner into the garage I felt a sharp shooting pain in my lower back. That pain stayed without fading for the next three days. I spent a lot of time lying on the floor. Not good.
It turns out I need help.
Luckily I am extremely blessed with some homeownership angels who actually offer and expect friends to ask them for help. Shocking! So, I have learned my lesson. I am letting the Family of Six help move some things, the Father of Six did all the prep for my painting and is cleaning the carpets, Sweet Chelle painted three rooms beautifully, Bob the Builder has recommended tree cutting services, and various others have provided muscle and advice. All I had to do was ask. What was so hard about that . . .
“How do I feel by the end of the day, Are you sad because you’re on your own, No I get by with a little help from my friends.”
John Lennon & Paul McCartney